Getting Stuck in a Communication Tunnel

I was very direct and gave very clear instructions. If they had followed the directions, to take exit 2, drive 25 miles and turn left then .3 miles and turn right, drive 2.25 miles and right and the 5th turn let, then they would have arrived on time.

What’s the problem?
Has it ever happened to you, that you explained something to someone and you know that you were clear, yet the outcome was unexpected? Probably. This happens quite frequently to most everyone, and to some it happens daily at home, work and even socially. The consequence can result in stress on the job and in personal relationships, misinterpretation or lost time and work.

Each of us has a way of receiving and processing information that is personal and unique. When others have the same style as ours, the results can be smooth and predictable. The glitch occurs when we get stuck in a communication tunnel that seems to have no way out. The tunnel might be straight, curved or zig-zagged. If you are like me when I am stuck there, I cannot get out fast enough. I usually get stuck because one of us is speaking a different language. And I don’t mean French or Latin.

A communication roadblock can be overcome and minimized by recognizing our different communication styles as just that - different ways of saying the same thing. Some people process information quietly and slowly, with the need for many details. Others prefer a livelier, quicker, more direct approach to receiving and delivering, and may even hear through pictures. The safest tactic for getting yourself out of the tunnel is to look, listen and learn. What do you see- anger, upset, sadness? What do you hear- a problem, a loss, a need? What can you assess about the situations? By turning off your own internal dialogue you will be able to become fully present and access all your senses needed to guide your next step.

It is always useful to first acknowledge the emotions being expressed and get to the facts.